


Mirror

by piercethekahn



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, ChanLix, I seem to like projecting my emotions, Other, Self-Hatred, banglix, cause i can't deal with my problems, ish, onto innocent korean men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 15:07:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17428271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piercethekahn/pseuds/piercethekahn
Summary: Felix has an anxiety attack and Chan helps





	Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING PLEASE DON"T READ IF THE FOLLOWING TRIGGERS U  
> -Anxiety  
> -Voices in yer head
> 
> sorry if theres any grammatical errors and/or spelling mistakes

Felix was alone, always so hopelessly alone, even with his members nearby he couldn't shake the heartbreaking feeling that he was alone in a completely different country than the one he was born in

It was late, later than Felix would like to admit and yet the young boy still found himself practicing their new comeback, the comments on their newest video haunting the kid, 

“Felix never should have been let back into the group”

“I love stray kids but Felix just ruins their image” 

“Lol look at Felix he’s gained a lot of weight” 

To be brutally honest Felix wished he never decided to become a trainee, it was so hard - who did he think he was to try, his mum had been right, it wasn’t worth it at all, his deteriorating mental state, the fact he barely slept or ate and the tiny lil cherry on top that consisted of the fact that the little voice in the back of his head that he had harboured for so long was back

He looked at himself in the large mirrors and the sigh that left him was a surprise, even to him 

     “Those comments are right you know” there it was again  
        
     “Shut up and leave me the fuck alone” his voice shook

     “Oh Felix, sweet naive Felix, i’m always going to be here”

 

Felix clenched his fists, trying desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to erupt from his face, toxic thoughts began snapping in and out of him, about how he couldn’t get the simplest thing done right, Felix was part of the dance line and yet he couldn’t seem to get the beat of one stupid song, he really was useless. His eyes left his own falling down to the floor in shame, he was scared, how could his own mind be so against him

 

He found himself slowly following his eyes, sinking down before reaching the cold emotionless floor, the poor boy almost envious of the fact it didn’t need to feel. As if a dam broke a small tear ran down his skin making it shine before a wave of emotion crashed over his head drowning Felix in a wave of sadness and regret, ugly sobs escaped his throat filling the empty air

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, Felix clawed at his chest in a desperate attempt to allow air into his lungs, unwillingly the kid was sent into a spiral of panic 

“Felix” Chan’s voice echoed through the room “What the hell are you doing”

Chan ran over to the shaking ball that lay cowering on the floor, ripping his fingernails down his chest “Lixxie look at me” pure fear masked behind a calm tone, a look of relief flashing across his face when Felix slowly turned his head to look at his leader, panic strewn across the boys features

“I need you to breath with me” Chan spoke with urgency but yet at the same time he was soft and in that moment that was all Felix needed

A stuttering breath left Felix’s small body after several harrowing attempts “good” Chan spoke softly “your doing so well” 

The panic that once controlled the childlike boy slowly began to subside as he managed to get air into his deprived lungs “Im sorry hyung” Felix’s voice meek and broken voice slid into the cool air as he buried  his head into the crook of Bang Chan’s neck, seeking comfort and stability from the male, Chan moved his arms around him and rested his chin on the youngers head 

Despite the circumstances Chan smiled “It’s alright, i’m here now”


End file.
